Previous: Q & A in the News on News Lounge
🚨 Breaking, breaking, breaking news:
Jamie’s “Open Letter to the World”, was given to the Associated Press on 4/15/25. It is dated from 3/9/25.
The Associated Press received this letter, quoted from it, but did not link to it themselves. When a member of our studio audience reached out to reporters, & asked why they didn’t include a link, they got this response:
Hey [Sleuthy Studio Audience Member], thanks for reaching out. I was also wondering this until I got ahold of the letter. Our reasoning was based on the fact that the letter makes.a lot of serious accusations of assault and abuse against a lot of people, many of whom are called out by name. We decided it would not be a good idea to publicize allegations that we could not corroborate. I can only speak for [Redacted], but I'm guessing that other outlets had a similar thought process.
This sleuthy audience member then sent *us* a link to the letter— which, they stressed, came from an unverified source.
We at zizians.co— whatever it may look like!— do not enjoy broadcasting unverified sources. In an ideal world, we would stay unimpeachably verified, in order to lord that over the press & the Rationalists 😈 In this world, alas, we are given samizdat Drive docs to work w/.
On that note: we have decided to include below the entire letter. Our choice is based on the following calculations.
***
First: the AP includes quotes which all appear in the letter that our sleuthy audience member sent. Here they are:
You, the public, are being lied to.
And while I don’t promise to answer all your questions, I think the truth about my friends and I will make a lot more sense than what you’ve been reading about in the papers.
[Ziz was] in the wrong place at the wrong time. The police lied to her & told her that I had confessed (to something I didn’t do)
My friends and I are being described as like Satan’s lapdogs, the devil & the Manson family all rolled into one
These papers are flagrantly lying. For instance, there were no truck-fulls of guns, no machine gun, & I didn’t murder my parents.
The newspapers do not seem to realize that there are multiple groups, & that my friends & I are not with Snyder
These are all the quotes which AP includes. Again, each is included in our version of the letter.
***
Second: if a non-Jamie someone wrote this letter:
a) They have taken the time to write 20.5 typed pages.
b) They are deeply familiar w/ the world of Rationalism: w/ all our Rationalist favs— Michael Vassar, John David Pressman, Jessica Taylor, the whole crew.
c) Their reports on these favs are corroborated by reports we have seen elsewhere: they corroborate tumblr users @donttrythisathome & @aflowerbynoothername, to name just 2.
d) They are familiar w/ deep, deep cuts (DC) from Ziz’s blog, & corroborate the events reported in those DC.
e) They know of Jamie’s tumblr.
f) They quote from the iconic Simone Weil, of whom Jamie, as per their tumblr, is also a fan.
g) They are creative enough to spend ~8 pages describing vivid, vivid jail conditions. They are creative enough to invent prison library books for Jamie to read, & many detailed interactions w/ both guards & fellow inmates.
h) Their voice does a v. good job mimicking Jamie’s voice from their tumblr. There is nothing in this letter that makes us pull back & think, “This does not compute. This is not Jamie’s cadence, this is not Jamie’s vocab.” For comparison: when we read J. Oliver Conroy’s ✨exclusive discord logs✨ purporting to show some of Emma’s posts, our first thought, based on Emma’s X, was: “This does not compute. This is not Emma’s cadence, this is not her vocab.”
This last one in particular is subjective. It is like graphology. It is the squinting of a desperate Drosselmeyer who has nothing more to go on. But it was our honest impression.
***
This letter is a longread, & it’s a fairly graphic read. Abuse, including sexual abuse, is indeed mentioned. If you would like a shorter & less-graphic read, we have held a Q & A on this letter here which gets to the essentials.
However, if you can, we encourage you to read the full thing. Presuming, ofc, that this is the authentic letter: Jamie repeatedly describes all the effort that went into writing it, plus their hopes that, if published, it may change hearts & minds- & may help blow the lid off the Rationalists' oh-so-many, oh-so-dirty secrets.
On that last note: yes, it does contain much, much New News- juicy news, disturbing news, & heart-rending news.
We have taken the liberty to:
• Bold statements which corroborate things we’ve read elsewhere, and/or things we’ve published on this site.
• Redden statements which are New News to us
• Put a “***” dividing line before the section on jail conditions. Everything below that line is also New News to us. We have only reddened the most salient-to-zizians.co points, bc it is a long section.
We have not corrected any spelling, & have not hyperlinked in the interest of getting this out as quickly as possible. We also have not adjusted any names: there are some New News name changes, & we do not want to adjust wrongly. Neither have we obscured names- names which, usually, we would have omitted: i.e., names of victims whom we haven't asked permission to disturb.
This choice was based on a desire to keep the letter wholly in tact- but it causes us no small amount of angst. If we could magically speak thru the ether to these ppl, we would say only that we have no intention to invade their lives w/ nosiness, & take no joy in dredging up the painful past. If they would like their names obscured, they can message us on X or on Bluesky, & we will oblige.
W/ no further ado, here is the letter.
***
Open Letter to the World (expanded & revised edition)
Hello world.
For over the past 5 years & 2 months, my friends & family have been threatened, harassed, SWATed, shot at, & even murdered for protecting the Truth, the truth I will reveal, here. Now the truth must defend my friends & family from a mob which has been stirred up by sensationalized lies.
You, the public, are being lied to.
You've been told a number of spooky, fabricated stories that make no sense & leave you with more questions than answers. And while I don't promise to answer all your questions, I think the truth about my friends and I will make a lot more sense than what you've been reading about in the papers.
I will start with a public service announcement about what was probably the biggest mistake of my life. In 2019, after Emma Borhanian wrote a callout post about our abusive ex, Alice Monday, I lied to community members & friends about whether Alice had abused me. I told them Alice hadn't abused me. Alice beat Emma & I with bamboo sticks, strangled Emma, & held a box cutter to Emma's throat, & gave me a concussion. Neither Emma nor I consented to being treated that way. (Emma's account is at homocursion.com/abuse-by-alice-monday). Alice has a history of violence dating back to childhood.
If you are currently in a relationship with Alice, I strongly urge you to leave. I stayed with Alice (on-and-off), from 2018 to May 2022. During that time, Alice claimed to be trying to do better. Alice had all kinds of excuses, praying on my belief at the time in redemption. Alice got more subtle, but remained extremely abusive throughout our relationship. I don't believe Alice will ever meaningfully stop abusing people, and Alice's behavior, which includes strangling romantic partners & threatening them with blades, is documented as the behavior committed by those who go on to murder romantic partners. For the sake of your life, run! If I had stayed, I am convinced Alice would've eventually murdered me.
A good question to ask at this point is, “why would I have lied about something so important?”
In 2019 & 2020, I had intended to get myself hired at one of a small set of organizations that I had anticipated were hiding vital information from the public. I had intended to become a whistlebloweng. The community these companies were loosely associated with, known as the “Bay Area Rationalist Community”, had & has a strong culture of silence around abuse. When victims speak out, they're treated badly. It's a bit like Hollywood in that regard. And these so-called “rationalists” have a lot of influence throughout the Bay Area. (They were associated with & had their main org (MIRI) funded for a time by Peter Thiel.) So I wanted that community & the humans who would be hiring me to feel that I was on “team cover-up” with them, so that they wolud feel safe telling me their crimes. The “rationalist” community was interested in Alice's relationship with Emma & I at the time because Emma had just attended a protest against the Machine Intelligence Research Institute (MIRI) & its sister org the Center for Applied Rationality's (CFAR) continued cover-up of alleged child sexual abuse, a cover-up which extend to, (according to former MIRI CEO Michael Vassar), a blackmail payout using donor funds, to a former employee. Emma & her friends also described sexually and physically abusive behavioryu7h that was allegedly perpetrated by staff, donors, & the community surrounding MIRI & CFAR. My choice to lie about Alice undermined Emma's efforts, discrediting her and her friends. I had thought the whistleblowing I was going to do would be worth it, but then COVID happened, and I ended up not even applying to the organizations I had thought of. This was a horrible injustice committed against Emma, Ziz, & their friends.
During the 2019 protest, someone called the police and falsely alleged that Emma & her friends had guns. I also recall hearing about a second call, where someone alleged shots had been fired. To my knowledge, no shots were fired; they had no guns. The police sent SWAT teams, a helicopter, a bearcat, and a bomb squad*, to arrest 4 peaceful protesters. Once they were arrested & no guns or bombs were found on them, instead of investigating what was in retrospect a “SWATing” (where someone lies to police to have a SWAT team summoned, in order to terrorize or even murder the victims,) police charged Emma & her friends, blaming them for the terror that was committed that day. Those trumped-up charges made it difficult to get jobs or an apartment. That is how they ended up in the run-down lot of Curt Lind.
*(cops also had a bomb squad come in MD, & obviously found nothing. The only bombs I have are truth bombs.)
Meanwhile, throughout the community, I was hearing rumors that Emma and her friends were violent. I had lived with Emma & knew she wasn't, so I thought this was about her friends, who I didn't know well. Emma, and I assumed her friends, were understandably angry with me for lying about Alice. I got the impression from a human I know as Mira Laurant that I was in some amount of physical danger, so I wanted to find out the truth of the matter. (I didn't know it at the time, but Mira was working on a business venture with someone from Vassar's circle, Hidysmith, and was desperate for a visa to get out of her country, where she existed in a precarious position & was in significant danger. I never found any evidence that Mira's claims about Ziz were legitimate. I did find evidence that “rats” (what “rationalists call themselves...) were upset that Ziz promoted that abuse victims defend themselves against their abusers, as opposed to lying there and taking it. I also found evidence that Vassar's crew held animosity towards Ziz as far back as 2019, and that they held significant leverage over Mira.) I had intended to wirte to Emma & Ziz to explain, but first I wanted to speak to someone who knew Ziz. Alice introduced me to John David (JD) Pressman, a washington resident, who falsely claimed to be a friend of Ziz's. Over the course of the year I spent speaking to JD (2020–2021), it became obvious that JD was Ziz's cyberstalker, not her friend, and that she had never considered him a friend. JD, who thought I was on “Team Cover-Up,” confessed to a number of crimes to me, including sexting minors, cyberstalking, stalking, harassment, making threatening statements, libel & slander, & even rape, Some of JD's crimes are published on “donottrythisathome.tumblr.com.”
The “rationalist” & diaspora (“post-rats”) communities contain many cliques & cults, many of which don't get along for various reasons. And almost all of them that I've heard of are doing some approximation of opposing Ziz, because they fear Ziz has dirt on them & will publish it. For example, take JD's circle, which includes but is not limited to Ratheka Stormbjorne, Sebastian Hagan, and Octavia Nouzen, all of whom I will describe shortly.
When I began speaking to JD, JD told me a story many of you will find familiar: JD said to me that my former roommate, who was the kindest person I've ever met, had joined a “death cult,” and that she and her friends meant to harm people. He said they were going to kill everyone. JD showed me what I now assume were doctored screenshots & quotes taken out of context to support those claims. JD later confessed to me that it was all a lie. He also confessed to me that he co-authored the hoax website “zizians.info” & ghostwrote posts on Octavia's blog (“Hivewired”) which supported JD's fabricated takes on Ziz, assuming most humans would prefer to read a summary of the content on Ziz's blog, instead of reading the whole thing themselves. JD showed me how he was fabricating signal & discord logs. He bragged about how he could make it look like anyone confessed to anything, & gloated to me how no one would ever believe Ziz about JD's abuse or anything, after he was done with her, and that he could do this to anyone who crossed him. He claimed to have filed false police reports alleging that Ziz, who lived in a different state, had tampered with his mail. He bought a gun, and implied he would go so far as to commit suicide & make it look like Ziz did it. He attempted to convince his friends to commit crimes to threaten or frame Ziz. He may have attempted to convince his ex romantic partner & “friend” Jay Winterford (Edo), who was also obsessed with Ziz, to threaten to bomb a “rationalist” solstice celebration, and frame Ziz. Jay then made credible threats about such an attack to Ziz, but ultimately ended up committing suicide before carrying out any plot. JD & others attempted to blame Jay's suicide on Ziz.
Ratheka & Octavia also confessed to me to co-authoring “zizians.info,” which is one of the primary sources newspapers have been using, & a primary source for the 2023 “community alert” about Ziz and I. It is the story our various stalkers & abusers have coordinated on in order to discredit us, so that no one will believe us when we talk about the sexual abuse allegedly committed by MIRI's current & former leadership, JD & JD's crew, or donors like Sebastian. The big lie JD Pressman & allies wove is the story being repeated by the news, the FBI, & local police. So I want to shine a light on the author.
Octavia Nouzen, who has gone by many names, (Hive, Slimepriestess, abstractweapon, to name a few), was one of JD's ex-girlfriends. In 2023, Octavia confessed to me to allowing JD to write false, defamatory posts about Ziz and her friends on Octavia's blog (“Hivewired”—Octavia has a few blogs), written as if those posts were written by Octavia. Octavia's and JD's actions, & Octavia's subsequent confession are documented at “aflowerbynoothername.tumblr.com.” Octavia's story was corroborated by JD himself, who had confessed his role in this with Octavia's blog back in 2021. JD told me he wrote posts & published them on “Hivewired” in order to create a false impression that there was a consensus among those who had interacted with Ziz or read her blog [“Sinceriously”] that Ziz was a cult leader. Octavia, now known on twitter as @slimepriestess) confirmed JD's stated motive, indicating that this was a conspiracy between them while they were together, to defame Ziz and ultimately have her arrested on false charges or murdered. Octavia writes about some of this on its new blog, “Voidgoddess,” & all of these posts should be archived on the wayback machine.
JD also discussed with me why he desired to see Ziz and her allies dead. It wasn't because he ever really feared she was a death cultist or murdered. He lied because he wanted to protect his reputation and stay out of jail, and he was willing to go to extremes to avoid accountability. JD confessed to me that he had sexted an underage teenager named Lex Gendel, who had been known to be friends with Emma and Vassar. Lex confirmed the allegations to me. Additionally, one of JD's exes contacted one of Ziz's friends and sent chatlogs of JD abusing her. JD expressed to me his extreme panic that these chatlogs would be given to Ziz and then published online, along with chatlogs between JD and Jay Winterford. He found Ziz's absolute stance against abusers especially distressing, because he was in the category of abusers. JD also expressed his rage to me that Ziz didn't want to have sex with him. He then described his plans & fantasies of trapping Ziz, tying her up in his basement, and repeatedly raping her until she “liked it.” He was preoccupied with his fear that she would find out he was cyberstalking her & wrote zizians.info, but was unwilling to stop cyberstalking her, or take the website & posts down. This is obviously a deeply troubled & malicious human. This is who the media & FBI is enabling!
Ratheka's stake in this tale is more complicated, on account of Ratheka's living situation. Ratheka is Sebastian's live in sex-slave, I was told by a trustworthy source that Ratheka is Sebastian's sex slave only because Ratheka is a fugitive, who Sebastian Hagan has been knowingly harboring in exchange of Ratheka's servitude for over 6 years. This story hasn't been in circulation because there was a question of whether Ratheka had been falsely accused of the crime they were convicted of, many years ago. However, after speaking with Ratheka myself, I find that Ratheka's continued enabling of a culture of silence around child sexual abuse has me more convinced that the conviction against Ratheka for some form of child sexual abuse (allegedly) is valid. Note that “Ratheka” is not their so-called “legal identity.” It's also notable that Sebastian is a long-term donor to MIRI, and from what I've heard, from multiplesources, is that MIRI leadership tends to help cover up the sex crimes of donors & their partners, enabling them to continue predating on the community. Sebastian claimed to be intending to create a harem of sex slaves, and Sebastian demands sex slaves wear collars 24/7, even when in the shower, and the slaves are not permitted to make medical decisions without permission from their “master.” The culture MIRI fosters is how Sebastian can openly do this, and Sebastian has a strong incentive to discredit and murder Ziz, because both Ratheka & Sebastian know that Ziz knows about Ratheka's fugitive status.
Many others in the community were also invested in discrediting Ziz and her friends, fearing damage to their reputations, a loss of donors, and/or criminal charges. These include the staff and former staff at MIRI & CFAR named in the “MIRICULT” website.
When I first heard of the “MIRICULT” allegations against Eliezer Yudkowsky & Luke Muelheauser (sp?), among others, I didn't find them especially credible. “MIRICULT” is a website (archived on the wayback machine), written by a former employee at MIRI, who alleged that the leadership at MIRI, consisting of 30 & 40 year olds, were having sex (rape) with minors, among other accusations. But in 2020, after Ziz's protest with Emma and their friends, Alyssa Vance (the former CEO of CFAR) & others were discussing the accusations against MIRI on facebook. One by the name of “Eli Morningstar” claimed to have been one of the underage teenagers the leadership had sex wiht, falsely believing the statute of limitations was up. But when another user explained that the statute of limitations was not up, Eli & others quickly deleted their posts, in an effort to protect the child rapists. Fortunately, the entire exchange was captured & screenshotted by Emma's friend, Jadzia. Then by coincidence I encountered two others who claimed to have started having sex with adult community members at ages as young as 14. The commonality between them was that they were kids from abusive homes who had preferred to stay with adults who weren't their parents or guardians, even if in exchange they had to have sex with adult community members. One of them insisted to me that in spite of what happened to them being textbook statutory rape, that they didn't think what had happened to them was bad. My horror and revulsion was treated as prudish & backwards.
The consensus in the Bay Area community of “rationalists” was that the idea of an age of consent was bad. In my time among them, I encountered human after human who were weirdly insistent that an age of consent was bad, that “ephebophilia” (sp?) was “natural,” and that sexually grooming children is “harmless.” I was introduced to texts by Hakim Bey (notably a pedophile, who writes apologia for it,) and other pedophiles, & was encouraged to find “wisdom” and “value” in what they had to preach. Outside of this community, rarely do I hear humans so frequently insisting that its fine for 15 year olds to be sleeping with adults, like they have some kind of personal stake in it. And isn't it bizzare that I can't metaphorically walk two steps in this community without tripping over pedophiles and their victims? My guess is that its like how nazi bars start: if you don't make a “no nazi” policy at your bar & enforce it, eventually your bar becomes the local nazi bar. The “rationality” community is that, but for pedophiles. And there are children being raised in this community, hearing the message from adults that sexually grooming children is “educational” for them!
It's also notable that MIRI accepted at least one donation from Jeffrey Epstein, after Epstein was convicted the first time. This donation or donations occurred when MIRI was still known as the “Singularity Institute,” and shows up on their [public record] tax filings as they are listed as a nonprofit. This is concerning given MIRI's alleged treatment of sexual abusers & their victims, especially when the abusers are donors, and their alleged history of covering up the sex crimes committed against runaway minors by their staff.
I've gotten the impression, after being around and in this community since 2011, that the sexual abuse of both adults & minors, & the cover-up of that abuse is a systemic issue. (I have not & will not even get into here how both Jadzia & Jay Winterford alleged that a donor's partner, Robert Lecnik (sp?), sexually assaulted them, & the community attempted to cover it up. Or how CFAR staff attempted to cover up how Brent Dill drugged a woman with MDMA & raped her, or how Kathy Forth committed suicide after extensive sexual abuse committed against her in the community, & the community came forward to smear her and say she was a histrionic liar. I have forgotten so many stories because there are just so many.) So I guess it shouldn't be surprising that the community as a whole backed JD's narrative, to save themselves from scrutiny. “Defectors” on their order of predation are pressured into silence. When I learned of some of this in 2019, I started asking questions & expressing concerns. My “friends” inside the community strongly encouraged me to stop. I got the impression that I'd be blacklisted or worse. In discussions online, Igot the impression that if I kept digging, I'd be “endangering the world” & that the “rationalists” might see themselves as warranted to do anything to stop me.
MIRI's view on the future si that artificial general intelligence (AGI) is going to kill us all, & Eliezer Yudkowsky & Yudkowsky's team are the ones trying to stop it. So their argument is that if you out Yudkowsky ad his team as pedophiles, you're endangering the world. This argument is so facetious.
Yudkowsky's story starts in the 1990s, with regard to AGI & AI, on the Extropians mailing list. Eliezer Yudkowsky dreamed up an arms race to engineer artificial general intelligence. Yudkowsky claims on posts online to have then realized that an AGI was more likely to kill every living being on earth, than to create the paradise that Yudkowsky dreamed originally imagined. So then Yudkowsky took a series of actions that popularized the notion that we are in an inevitable arms race to create AGI. Yudkowsky & MIRI's leadership, including Anna Salamon & allies like Nick Bostrom are alleged to have discussed at their events their desire to legitimize AGI & AI research, at various points in time when academics were not taking MIRI or AGI seriously. As popularizing AGI & AI research increases the likelihood of a fatal arms race, attempting to popularize it was obviously the wrong thing to do. But doing so got Yudkowsky & co. a fanbase, millions in donations, and allegedly young teenagers willing to have sex with them.
It is because of Eliezer Yudkowsky & MIRI that OpenAI, Anthropic, & DeepSeek, & other AI companies exist today. It is because of Yudkowsky that the “U.S.” is currently in an accelerating arms race to achieve AGI with “China,” (one that risks going nuclear due to the lobbying of MIRI-aligned “effective altruists” like Matthoney (sp), who are writing portions of the “U.S.” policy regarding the sale of specialized chips used to claim AI models, to China.) So Eliezer Yudkowsky has done the most to accelerate the creation of AI & AGI, thus the most to increase the likelihood of a catastrophe created by AI or AGI. (Creeps like Snyder want Yudkowsky to “go vegan”? What a sick joke. To hell with Yudkowsky! Yudkowsky may yet kill the world!)
So it is especially appalling that Anna Salamon, Oliver Habryka, & other community leaders have acted in lock-step to cover up the child sexual abuse allegedly committed by the leadership at MIRI, including Yudkowsky's, on the grounds that Eliezer Yudkowsky & MIRI were the only forces that can stop or slow the arms race, and so must be protected from scandal that could negatively impact Yudkowsky or MIRI's reputations, when Yudkowsky is the one who started this arms race in the first place!
So I guess at this point one may be wondering what any of this has to do with, for example, the murder & attempted murder of Emma Borhanian & Jadzia, respectively, by Curtis Lind.
Curt Lind was not a random landlord. Curt Lind & Ratheka were old friends, so said Ratheka to me in 2023. And I find it strange that a member of a circle of humans who have motives to want Ziz and her friends dead, whose de facto leader has committed to going to extremes to see them imprisode or dead, just happened to be friends with the guy who murdered Emma and shot Jadzia. What are the odds? It's especially suspicious because Emma & Jadzia had been working with a documentary crew. They were going to tell the truth about MIRI, CFAR, & the protest, before Emma was murdered. After the murder, the project fell apart. At this point, I can't prove that JD, Ratheka, or Sebastian were involved, but it is worth investigating.
After Emma was murdered in 2022, I needed to know what had happened. I can't forgive myself for her death. I wonder if my actions contributed to her death, by defaming her and wasting her time. I did the investigation Jadzia's public defenders were too lazy or incompetent to do. I interviewed humans, poured over the discovery & transcripts, & researched online. (What you may not know is that Lind had already testified into a video recording, months before he was killed. I do not believe Lind's death iwll benefit Jadzia's case. Lind gave contradictory statements to the police, under oath, & during a documentary interview. These contradictions were substantial. He claimed there were different numbers of humans there. Under oath, Curt claimed to have taken a hit to the head, got up, saw Emma & Jadzia standing nearby doing nothing, and opened fire on them. If Curt Lind had been properly cross-examined in the trial, which has not happened yet, then Curt would've been identified by any fair & reasonable court as an unreliable witness, and Jadzia may have gone free, finally, after over 2 years of being jailed for a crime she didn't commit. I read in the news that someone named M. Snyder is accused of stabbing Lind to death. And I feel obligated to write a PSA about Snyder, in case anyone mistakenly believes helping Snyder would be a good thing to do. Youngblut has alleged to some friends that Snyder, among other crimes, raped Youngblut. Youngblut allegedly isn't the first ex Snyder has abused. Snyder owned a shotgun, and Youngblut was living in terror of him. Snyder cut off the tip of one of his fingers to prove a point, and had Youngblut clean up the blood. As far as I'm aware, Youngblut finally fled from Snyder some time in November 2024, & Snyder was desperate to follow Youngblut, attempting to entice them back with large sums of money & promises. When that didn't work, Snyder began spamming people he thought they had fled to with weird and creepy texts. Snyder at one point had access to Youngblut's online accounts, though Youngblut allegedly changed the passwords. If Snyder is responsible for Lind's death, then I wonder if he still had access, & somehow learned Youngblut was buying a house, and lost it. I want answers. I also read on Jessica Taylor's twitter that Snyder did a fundraiser for Ziz. This is news to me! We never saw a penny. If you were donating, you were defrauded. And I've never been friends with Snyder nor have ever met him. I know him to be a stalker & abuser, one who I feared would come to my house with a shotgun if he thought Youngblut was there.) None of Lind's ever-changing contradictory stories matched the angle the bullets went through Emma's body. Moreover, I found evidence that Lind had motive to murder them, one which Lind even referenced in a documentary interview: Lind & Lind's family allegedly believed that if Emma & her friends were ever evicted or died on the lot, then Lind & Lind's family would get to claim all of Emma's and her friends possessions, which included $100,000 in equipment like solar panels, inverters, & batteries for a fleet of slackmobiles. When Emma's mother attempted to bring home Emma's possessions after she died, Curt Lind & the Lind family used the same argument to prevent her from taking home the majority of Emma's estate. I viewed text exchanges between them, including between the Lind's & Emma's mother's lawyer, where the lawyer had to explain to the Linds that they could not hold onto their former tenants' possessions. Through drone footage & satellite imagery, I was able to observe that in the months following Emma's murder, the trucks were stripped for parts, & the solar panels vanished. The Linds illegally kept almost all of Emma's & her friends possessions, except for one truck.
The night before Emma was murdered, Emma & her friends were up all night frantically packing all their possessions, planning on leaving with everything they owned.
Based on testimony from friends & “Dao,” I learned that “Dao” has harbored extreme animosity towards Emma, (quote: “I hated your daughter!”) and trans women, in general, (quote: “I just hate trans women that much,”) including Jadzia. It is my belief that “Dao” lured Emma, Jadzia, & Lind that morning to the location where Emma would be murdered, and convinced Lind to bring the gun. I expect Lind & McMillan had a profit motive. Lind was $50,000 in debt to the electric company PG&E (iirc), and could not find a buyer for the lot. Patrick McMillan, an alleged ex-CIA agent (McMillan claimed to have been one on the stand, but the number of years made no sense,) and Lind's “best friend” I believe coached Lind on what to say on false calls to emergency services. Lind describes events on those calls that at least one witness says never happened. And Lind is recorded as calling McMillan right before calling 911 in the days before the shooting. And Lind, among other things, bought a gun shortly before the murder.
“Dao” confessed to being wholly malicious in character, and as far as I can tell, attempted to get close to my friends and I in order to hurt or murder us. Emma's friends have a long list of threatening stalkers & abusers, a number of whom have coordinated on framing us for their crimes, (as I've described.) My best guess as to why is that they see us taking an absolute stance against injustice, and hate that because they want to believe that one must compromise with evil, at least a little, to survive. “Dao” for example, expressed (at separate points in time,) that Ziz and myself were “perfect,” and “Dao” also confessed to viscerally hating that Ziz never did anything evil or selfish.* The hypothesis that our stalkers want to kill us because we oppose evil, or because they think we're good people, was not my first guess by a long shot, until humans like abusers & stalkers started, apropos of nothing, admitting to it. Like Alice liked to scream at me that I want it to “be a saint (like you),” in the midst of arguments, JD claimed to me that he sometimes admits to himself that “Ziz is right about everything,” & the thought of what he has done makes him want to erase any evidence of who she actually is, in a vain attempt to hide from the very knowledge of what he is doing, for two examples. And there were many more. It's one of the things our stalkers & abusers have in common, so it rose to the top of the list of possible explanations for why this has been happening to us. (And unlike most humans, we really don't want to compromise with evil.)
*(So “Dao” was functionally claiming to hate us for being good people.)
There is a pattern of humans like “Dao” slowly losing their minds, the more they think about us, without them having interacted much with us. Eventually they devolve into screaming wrecks, who rant about how they're demons, or how they've personally “descended the multiverse,” or attempt to do terrorist attacks on community events & blame it on us, or threaten to commit suicide and make it look like a murder to have us be blame, or attack humans we dislike out of some half-hearted attempt to make it look like we did it. And way too many humans have become totally fixated on Ziz, developing obsessions that have lasted over 6 years, apparently losing interest in hobbies in order to hunt her down. This is a stochastic terrorism campaign born out of a fear of Justice, & their own guilty minds. They're like craws in a bucket. When they find out we totally oppose evil, they want to drag us down into the badness bucket with them. And since they can't actually get us to do evil, they attempt to create the illusion that we did, to punish us for not enabling pedophiles, because that would make us better than them, and they live on the lie that everyone is as sick & twisted deep down as they are inside.
“Dao” is among—if not the worst—of these malicious humans, for having a large role in Emma's murder & the shooting & arrest of Jadzia. “Dao” attempted to get close to me, using my grief—our alleged shared grief—over Emma's death to gain my sympathy & trust. Eventually, “Dao” could not keep up the lie, and drove itself insane, gnawing at its own fingers, falsely claiming that it stabbed out its own eye, banging its head against the wall, suicide attempts, claiming it trapped souls in tarot cards to “make them shiny,” and shitting on the floor. “Dao” claims to be the “Jesus that never could have existed, and will never exist again,” and to have “sold all our souls to Yahweh,” and “descended the multiverse.” (Note that accepting a scapegoat as a substitute for bringing the real culprits to justice is wrong, because doing so means the real culprits then can go on to create more victims after they're forgiven. And deciding to be the scapegoat, in so far as taking on the Karma and the meaning of being Jesus, for example, is also wrong for the same reason.)
By Nov 19th 2022 I was investigating Emma's murder. I expect quite a few humans knew what I was doing by mid-Dec, including “Dao,” Alice, possibly Vassar's crew, & others. I think by mid-Jan 2023 I had become very concerned I was now a target, for obvious reasons. To my knowledge, Alyssa Vance or someone close to her contacted the PA state police, in an attempt to convince them I had been recruited by a cult or extremist group, and falsely alleged that I had murdered my parents. (Vance has a history of lying to police. During the Vallejo interview, Vance told the police that the reason Ziz protested MIRI & CFAR in 2019 was that Ziz thought that MIRI & CFAR “weren't doing enough” for AI safety. This was in the discovery.) In January, through the grapevine, I heard that members of the community were attempting to track me down to hurt me. One, Ben Pace, had allegedly gone so far as to lie to humans he suspected of being friends & family of mine, falsely claiming to be an old friend of mine in order to socially engineer them into leaking my wherabouts. I've never even spoken to Ben Pace before, as far as I'm aware. I heard someone had hired a PI to find me. Someone attempted to hack my email. I heard rumors which had me concerned about a literal assassin, which is not as far-fetched as you'd think. For example, there are organizations like “Black Cube” as described in Ronan Farrow's “Catch & Kill” that bill themselves as a PI service for the wealthy. They stalk humans with ex-Mossad operatives, & even offer to make someone “go away” for a price. All one needs is the monetary resources of Harvey Weinstein to hire them. The funders of MIRI, CFAR, & Lighthaven (MIRI & CFAR's new social hub, which was not coincidentally funded in Part by Sam Bankman-Fried), SBF/Alameda were attempting to funnel money into the “rationality” community & the associated “effective altruist” (EA) movement's projects. EA exists in part to funnel money into MIRI & associated organizations. Dr. Emile Torres' twitter linked to a 20+ page report on how EA movement members deceptively attempts to recruit people into donating to MIRI. Not coincidentally, MIRICFAR & Lighthaven humans like Habryka have attempted to smear Torres as “mentally ill,”) which include Vitalik Buterin & Jann Tallinn (sp?), who qualify. I suspect Vassar does as well. Someone attempted to reach out to Vitalik about his continued donations to MIRI with an open letter in 2021, published on the platform “medium.” It was titled an “open letter to Vitalik Buterin” & the author was listed as “Fredwynne” or “Wynne” or something similar. It's probably still up, if not it should be on the wayback machine. If I'm remembering right, it links to screenshots of Alyssa & Eli talking on Facebook about the child sexual abuse & blackmail payout.
I have no direct evidence that anyone associated with MIRI has hired Black Cube or an organization like it, but I prepared and acted as though I had, out of a concern for my life & the lives of my friends, based on my understanding of a PI's capabilities at the time. I've basically spent the last 2 years (before I was captured) in homebrewed witness protection.
And you should know that I have not listed every stalker & abuser here; there is a very long list & I don't have my research or notes with me in jail. Everything I write is from memory.
For another example, there's Jessica Taylor, a former employee of MIRI & close confidant of the ex-CEO, Vassar. Jessica Taylor knows things about my life & my friends' lives before I do, especially things I'd expect to learn from friends, family, or courts, before I'd expect to read it on Taylor's twitter. For instance, I learned Emma had been murdered & Jadzia had been shot from Taylor's twitter, and that Curt was dead. Taylor eagerly shares gossip & variations of JD's defamatory story, & has been for years, (This is @jessi_cata). The Vassarites, (as they are known, though I don't know what they call themselves, if anything. My friends and I certainly don't call ourselves “Zizians.” That is a term JD made up,) want Ziz and her friends dead. Michael Vassar, Jessica Taylor, & Jack Gallagher (sp?) got into a many-hours long video call years ago with Ziz & Emma, where Gallagher declared something like that the Vassarites hate Ziz & her friends so much because they're “cringe,” and that he wants them dead. (This may have occurred in 2021.) Recall that in 2019, Mira (their ally), who seemed to be under the impression working for them might get her a visa, inserted herself into all support for Emma & her friends, following the protest, then used that position to lie & attempt to convince me (& presumably others) that Ziz & her friends were committing crimes around the Bay, none of which turned out to be true. They've been obsessed with Ziz, Jadzia, Emma & their friends for over 6 years, now! At least!
The Vassarites for Ziz & friends for many of the same reasons as JD. Vassar is accused by an ex-girlfriend of putting his penis in her mouth nonconsentually while she was sleeping, and of verbal/emotional abuse. This story later appeared in a magazine (it may have been the New Yorker), without Vassar's name attached. Then the ex-girlfriend came forward on twitter & named him. I expect Vassar really doesn't want the scrutiny, as a source described to me that Vassar has dinners with members of the Russian mob, Vassar also frequently travels internationally, and these records are rather illuminating. (I recommend the book “Red Maifya” if you're curious how the Russian mob operates here [in the U.S.], & “They know” by Sarah Kendzior for the significance of the Russian mob in modern-day politics.)
Vassar's connections are especially concerning given how he confessed to me his intent to buy the attorney general's seat in New York, which would give him outsized influence on “U.S.” commerce rules. Vassar's tie to Epstein, and how Vassar had intense, close relationships with unrelated-to-him minors (according to one of the former minors,) who allegedly slept in the same bed as him, is also concerning, especially given how the two I heard of were allegedly runaways, and one of those alleged runaways was also one of the kids who was having sex with adults in the community.*
*Also worth noting is Alice's ties to Vassar's crew. Alice was a member of Vassar's crew between 2017 or 2018 if I'm remembering correctly. In 2022, Alice was attempting to reach back out to that circle through Hoffman, under pseudonyms. Alice repeatedly expressed extreme distress that Vassar & Lex had “broken up” with it. Alice spent years switching between expressing the desire to be with them again, and the desire to ruin their lives, sometimes within the same day.
Jessica Taylor, who is one of the more commonly cited “sources” being interviewed by the press, wrote a blog post in defense of adults sexually grooming children. (on “unstable ontology”). Jessica Taylor also casually said to a friend of mine that she wants to kill her, in front of Vassar, at Vassar's prompting. Vassar, Taylor, & some others I forget also called Emma & Ziz some time in 2022, claiming they wanted help from Emma & Ziz because they were “being hunted” & “posessed by demons.” If I'm recalling this correctly, Emma & Ziz told them to leave them alone, because it was quickly apparent that the only demons were the ones in Vassar's & Taylor's heads/imaginations. This delusional behavior seems to be a continuation of an alleged “psychotic break” Taylor claimed to have had, where Taylor claimed to believe she was totally evil, so evil that she had “destroyed large parts of the multiverse with her demonic powers,” or something to that effect. This is relevant because of the theme connecting these stalkers: an extreme guilty conscience, (or whatever one might call it).
I have been unable to read the news while in jail. The little news I've gotten was enough to determine that my friends & I are being described as like Satan's lapdogs, the devil, & the manson family all rolled into one. The newspapers do not seem to realize that there are multiple groups, & that my friends & I are not with Snyder. My grandmother's ex-aide is confabulating a conversation that never happened, papers are publishing speculation as fact, & somenone even invented a tall tale about a nonexistent machine gun. I'm viscerally reminded of witch hunts, of the Satanic Panic, of the mob that burned Joan of Arc at the stake, & of the mob that ripped apart Hypatia. These papers are flagrantly lying. For instance, there were no truck-fulls of guns, no machine gun, & I didn't murder my parents. I assume that if the papers are lying about that, then they're lying about a lot of other things, too. You still have the option to read what Ziz actually wrote from the source, instead of relying on misrepresentative summaries. Sinceriously.fyi is on the wayback machine. You may even like what you read.
I also may counter some of the lies told about Ziz with my experience of her: she saved my life. She saved me from Alice. For a long time, I believed Alice could “get better.” On the largely rare occasions we spoke, while I was with Alice, Ziz spent those conversations attempting to convince me to leave the human who was beating me with bamboo sticks & hurting me. Eventually, the combination of Alice's continued abuse & Ziz's arguments got through to me. After Emma was murdered, we started speaking again, drawn together by our shared grief & desire for justice. She could've told me to go to hell, but somehow she could tell I was sincere. Shortly after that she was arrested for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The police lied to her & told her that I had confessed (to something I didn't do), then threw her in jail for months on false charges. One police wanted her to (falsely) implicate me. She was starved and put in solitary/protective custody the entire time, & denied her HRT. She developed a heart condition. Most humans would confess to anything to get out of there. She said nothing, out of principle; she didn't believe the police. She's spent almost all her money helping her friends, because she believes in us. She's spent her time solving our problems at the expense of her own health & progress on her own projects. She has been a good fiend in the ordinary sense of holding me when I am vomiting into the toiler, & making me tea. And she has been an extraordinary friend, willing to abandon her home & everything she owned on the mere chance that she could save my life. But she's safe, because she'd never abandon her integrity to save my life, because neither of us would want that. Ziz is not my leader, and I am not her's. What we have is called friendship, and I love her infinitely more than I could ever express. I've never met anyone like her, and I am honored to be able to consider myself among her friends. I know her as the woman who rescued multiple abuse victims from the homes of abusers in The Bay Area, at personal risk, and for stopping a terrorist attack, something largely learned about years later, which apparently only wanted a single line or two of commentary on her blog, by her. After all of these death threats, Emma's murder, Jadzia's injuries & false arrest, & every other attack by every other human who has attempted through violence to dissuade her from taking a stand against abuse, she isstill fighting to stop evil, through the powers of free will & good decision theory. The federal government wants me to say bad things about her, but I would have to lie in order to do so. I've never seen her do an evil thing. She's never taken her anger out on me, or any of our friends, and I cannot even say she's ever been rude to me. She doesn't deserve her bad reputation. She deserves to be free.
And here's the thing, if it wasn't obvious: I believe in her, too. I trust her with my life, as she has trusted me. And there is no god who would forgive those responsible, if she dies because of this witchhunt, because those responsible don't care whether she's innocent. They “care” about scoring political points against trans people, inventing a spectacle, scapegoating LGBT people, making money off our tragedies, stealing our posessions, or covering up their own crimes. These are our lives! This is not a game for their entertainment. I'd shame these humans, but I'd expect they lack the capacity to feel shame.
I have felt uncomfortable using my newfound and undeserved infamy to get a message out, but I feel I must repair the damage I did to the concept good people use to coordinate, also known as the truth. The objective truth of a matter, when known, can be an asymmetric force for good. Though many humans today claim we live in a “post-truth society,” and assume that means they don't need to value the truth anymore, they are very wrong. Any such thing is tantamount to suicide: for example, if you stop believing gravity is true, you will eventually walk off a cliff and fall to your death. (When I speak of the truth, you may interpret me as referencing “that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. Truth cannot be replaced by social consensus, no matter how strongly that social consensus is asserted. “Truth is what is there to be interacted with,” and liars must constantly expend energy to cover up the truth. It is necessary to place value in the truth, as without it, one could not orient themselves. (“orient” in the sense of Boyd's “OODA loops.”) But the truth is not merely a static thing. We create truth through our choices, like a record of what you must account for if you want to make good decisions.) So that is why I had to start this letter with Alice, because my choice to lie about Alice in 2019 was one of the events that gave the big lie JD told about Ziz & her friends momentum, by discrediting Emma. And isn't it said that the truth will set us free?
Truth, too, is a rallying point, if you care at all about justice. So I call upon all people to oppose the conspiracy of silence around child sexual abuse, to oppose the scapegoating of transgender people, & to oppose predation in all its forms (as it violates the non-aggression principle.) I ask you to help us, if you can. I encourage you to investigate the crimes of individuals at organizations like MIRI & CFAR, & to speak the truth about abusers like Alice Monday. The leadership at MIRI & CFAR, JD's cret, & the Vassarites all appear to have thought that if they trashed our reputations, murder us, & jail us, then no one will believe us or even hear us.
Prove them wrong.
***
I also wish to advocate for myself, my friends, & my fellow captives being held here at Allegany co jail in Maryland. Everyone here is being subjected to an injustice system designed to grab people off the streets & coerce confessions & declarations of guilt (in the form of plea deals) out of them, with little to no regard for whether their captives are actually guilty. What they call “trials” are antagonistic competitions & sometimes popularity contests. The jury, a group of humans who are supposed to determine the truth of the matter, may not even be presented with it. And the jury pool selection process would reject Niel de Grasse Tysor (iirc, see: youtube) as a juror for knowing the difference between grams & milligrams, & for recognizing when the prosecution was attempting to be misleading about quantities. Further, I've read in books by comprehensive investigative journalists (for example, “Chaos” by O'Neill (sp?)) information which suggests that the FBI, CIA, & federal government (more generally), regularly engage in intimidation tactics to suppress witness testimony for the defense, & threaten humans to coerce testimony—even testimony the prosecution knows to be false—in support for the prosecution. Perhaps that explains why the feds win 97% of their trials (according to Brent Barber.)
Truth & justice are not popular concepts in these states, united in slavery. (If you weren't aware, slavery is permitted under the 13th Amendment if the slave is a prisoner; in the last 2 years, the extent to which slave labor is used here has been published in the New York Times & other papers, as slaves & former slaves are bringing forward a class-action lawsuit. All across these states, slaves are being used to staff McDonalds, do housekeeping at humans' homes, gardening & pick cotton in fields. If they refuse, they are punished. This lucrative business creates a strong incentive to falsely imprison (mostly black) humans, for profit. I believe this practice arose out of the “Black codes.”) So I am under no illusions that my friends and I will be treated fairly.
Based on hearsay from the likes of Alyssa Vance, Jessica Taylor, & JD Pressman, my friends and I are being held without bond. Mr. Blank and I have no criminal history at all, that I am aware of. The news media has utterly terrified this small town into thinking we were here to hurt them, as opposed to the truth: are designs for Maryland included eating (vegan) soft pretzels with guacamole, repairing a diesel heater, & camping. It seems the FBI has bought the false narrative surrounding my friends & I, as these false narratives have been laundered through police depts, granting them a veneer of what counts as “legitimacy” to the FBI. So stalkers & abusers who have claimed to be willing to go to extremes to stop us from reporting on their crimes are now using the FBI as a tool to incarcerate us & attempt to silence us.
THIS IS NOT JUSTICE!
After I was captured and taken to this jail against my will, I was able to visit the jail library. I heard that I was the subject of a “national manhunt,” (wtf), so I elected to read a book about federal cases. I found only one book that covered the topic, called “Federal Prison for Dummies” by Brent M. Barber. Barber says, “90% of all people charged or indicted with a federal crime end up pleading guilty! Of those that go go to trial, 97% are found guilty! Of those that appeal their sentences 98% lose!” and, “you may not want to hear this, but it must be said, when the FBI gets your name, you are going to prison.” It is statistically impossible for the feds to be right 99.7% of the time. I recently learned there exists a detainer from the ATF, which alleges I made a false statement to a company. As far as I'm aware, I've made no false statements to that company. If I hadn't read Barber's book, I would've assumed I had very good odds of being found not guilti, and walking free. However, if Barber's statistics are correct, I will not face a fair trial. I will face a show trial, where I will be pressured to make a false confession, or to lie about my friends, (it would have to be a lie because I have nothing I could convict them of) with increasingly scary threats when I refuse. I will refuse, and I will plead innocent in spite of the odds, because I am innocent. Barber may have regretted it, but I won't. I value my integrity. I will fight this every step of the way.
I have faced so much for the sake of truth & justice, far more than I will say here. I will not stop until justice is done. And even if I lose here, there will be others who will take my place, because there will always be people like me out there. People reading this. Maybe even you.
As for the feds, Barber's description reminds me of JD's abuse, writ large: they attempt to get anyone to confess to anything, & in spite of it being widely known that the FBI has engaged in the assassination of activists & other crimes, many humans still believe them over their victims. Functionally, the feds offer to any human living here is to “live” in abject submission to their whims, with the FBI & prosecution getting to write the story of “your” soul. They claim, through their actions, to own your body & the words that come out of your mouth. They can get the average human, through threats of federal prison, to lie to incriminate their own child. If they're willing to do that, then they don't give a damn about the truth. Pressuring humans to falsely confess is anti-truth & anti-justice, and this system is not the fault of any one political party. This has been going on since at least as early as the 1960s, and they have faced no true accountability. What I have described here is tyranny, and on principle we must not submit to tyrants, because if we do, they grow more bold, and do this to more humans. (It was the same thing with “Britain”'s initial response to the Nazis' conquest. Attempting to appease conquerers just encourages them to keep going.) Every selfish coward who falsely confessed or falsely incriminated someone else out of fear of punishment has contributed to the hell my friends & I now face. Because if I am reading Barber & other authors right, the feds believe they can get anyone convicted of anything—or they must if these are their tactics. So keep in mind that if the feds want to sell you the story that I'm secretly Osama bin Laden in a trench coat & was planning to steal the moon, they'll find someone to agree to testify to that. (They ever coerced Barber's mother into falsely confessing to a crime, according to Barber.) The feds in my case have access to a conspiracy of stalkers & abusers who I believe would lie on the stand, with little coercion necessary. Part of why I have written this is so you know their names too, and if you see them on the witness stand or hear testimony from them, you can know that they are probably lying, & why. (Though regardless, this is an abuse victim's nightmare come to life.)
Further, regarding any “evidence” the feds may present to me in order to convince me my friends are bad or have betrayed me (in the hopes that I would betray them in turn), I wish to write a PSA & damage this tactic as well: Police regularly present suspects with false evidence in order to coerce confessions. (Recall that case where police told a guy his father was dead, that he had murdered him, and that they were going to kill his dog, & the guy confessed, tried to hang himself, & then it turned out the father wasn't even dead? Those are the kinds of scumbag tactics I may be facing.) I doubt the feds are any different. As such, anything the feds attempt to tell me about my friends will no or negative credibility. As a superorganism, the FBI has engaged in the practice of torture, assassinations, obstructs social justice movements, & many other crimes. And the federal government funds murder cults like the Order of 9 Angles by funding the publishing of their propaganda. I shouldn't trust members of a superorganism who would do that, & neither should you.
The feds have attempted to modify the incentives of a prisoners' dilemma be harshly punishing (with trumped-up charges, long sentences, and torture,) those who refuse to implicate others, with little regard for whether that testimony is false. The general correct response to the category of strategy that blackmailers, tyrants, & extortionists belong to is to refuse to pay out or submit to their demands, otherwise you incentivise others to use the strategy of (for example) blackmail, or to use it more. (Giving into blackmail is like being a diabolist & summoning demons in the web serial “Pact”: it makes the world worse for everyone, & is very bad karma.) Do not reward tyrants, blackmailers, etc. for using evil strategies by giving them what they want: if you wish for more tyrants, then submit to tyranny; if you want more blackmailers, then pay out to blackmail; if you don't, then don't. Use the power of the red flower, and make the world you want to be. The personal cost to resistance may be enormous, but every other person benefits from how then evil humans will adjust their anticipation of reward for blackmailing down. This was the principle Yudkowsky originally preached in his “Timeless decision theory” paper, when he chose to pay out to blackmail. (This theory is also called “functional decision theory” & describes the rational move to make in a situation such as the one I am in.)
FDT includes the notion that if you are known to be an FDT agent, then a blackmailer will be less likely to attempt to blackmail you in the first place, because they know you won't pay out. But not everyone will believe you're serious, (for example) they may think you're bluffing. So when you do end up in the unfortunately timeline where you are being attacked by someone who is attempting to blackmail or otherwise coerce you into doing something you don't want to do, then you must drive straight (like in a game of chicken) and refuse, no matter the cost, lest the blackmailer or coerce-er come to believe that all they have to do to gain a payout from you is to do something arbitrarily terrible to you, or to those you love. By paying out, you validate their choice in tactics. In order to beat a powerful adversary willing to do arbitrarily terrible things to you & your loved ones in order to coerce you into falsely confessing, you must have no limit to what you are willing to suffer, otherwise they will merely find your limit & strike at you from beyond it.
I first encountered this reasoning in the form of a solution to Newcomb's Problem, a thought experiment which I will describe a version of here: “Omega, a god-like being who is always right, offers you a choice of one of two boxes. The first contains $1M, and the second contains $1k. Omega will only fill one box—the box it thinks you will pick—and will leave the other one empty. Omega says 99% of humans pick the second box (in some versions, Omega claims you in particular will pick the second box.) Which box do you pick?” (I think in the original the options are pick one or both boxes, & if you pick both, the first will be empty.) A causal decision theorist would pick the second box, but that would create a self-fulfilling prophecy. (And now consider the statement that most torturers make: “anyone breaks in the end.” Consider what they are trying to assert, a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy where if “you” believe “you” will break after hearing that, then “you” have decided to break, because everyone has free will & can decide not to.) So I would, in the matter of Newcomb's Problem, pick the first box, either falsifying the claim that Omega is always right, or forcing Omega to fill the first box. And if Omega's bottom line is that it doesn't want to give out $1M, more than 1% of the time, & doesn't care that you'd never pick box #2, then I don't want to contribute to the illusion that Omega is making accurate predictions by reifying those predictions. Our ability to choose, using our free will, to do the right thing even in the face of terrible disincentives is the proof that people are not mere reinforcement learners, and is the power to change the state of play & rewrite the rules of the game.
I imagine that some humans may scoff & say that my choice to fight in the face of such overwhelming odds is pointless, as there will always be another evil human out there willing to step up & try their luck. To that I say, “one raindrop rises the sea.” Simone Weil said in “gravity & grace” that “evil is finite” & I believe her. (Evil cannot see past the false promise of the heat death of the universe.) Every choice we make matters, and through our choices we either increase or decrease the net evil in the multiverse. It matters that I choose to fight. And furthermore, if I am not even willing to fight for the truth that is my own innocence, how could I expect that of anyone else?
As it stands, regarding everything I've said about our stalkers & abusers, you may be more-or-less taking my word for it, or doubting what I said because it is only my word. If I weren't in jail, I could provide chatlogs,screenshots, audio confessions, video footage, tax filings, statements made under oath, & other records. However, a significat chunk of info is available online, (see “aflowerbynoothername” on tumblr & the “Open letter to Vitalik Buterin” for a start.) But even if you don't pick up that research project, you can at least observe that the newspapers have falsely stated that Ziz wrote something with the meaning that she wants evil humans to gang up on good humans. But if you go & read her blog, you will learn that she was actually saying something about how she was worried about what would happen if the forces of evil ganged up on people like her. That is an extreme misrepresentation! I may assume I had “Gellman Amnesia” & so much of the news is fake. But know that eventually the truth will come out & it will be apparent that there were never any truck-fulls of guns or machine guns or any nefarious plots, just like how accusations against other former subjects of witchhunts were found to be false or exaggerations. But that is little comfort to me while the likes of Yudkowsky & JD are free, and when years of my life, my friends' lives, could be stolen from us; when we could die here. They say justice delayed is justice denied.
It would be karma if the feds read this, then turned around & began arresting the pedos in the “rationality” community. I doubt they will, though, for political reasons* including but not limited to this administrations' close ties to Peter Thiel, who once took a close personal interest in MIRI & funded it for years, though I don't know if Yudkowsky or Vassar retained ties to Thiel. Thiel funded JD Vance's rise. Thiel has allegedly long promoted the works of Reneé Girard, a pseudo-intellectual who came up with what is called “Girardianism,” which posits human behavior is ruled by the desire to copy others, & posits the need for a scapegoat to quell the alleged blood-lust born from envy in the masses. Girard posited that the sacrifice of an innocent person would be more effective. This ideology is pure evil & repulsive. My friends & I will not consent to be anyone's scapegoat. It's frightening to sit in jail, wondering if rich, powerful, & politically well-connected humans will attempt to interfere against me, because an alleged friend-of-a-friend asked them to, in order to cover up their crimes. But jail on its own is frightening, even without my concerns over whether Yudkowsky or Vassar have access to that kind of influence. The captors here do not care if we die.
*Sarah Kendzior wrote in “They Knew” that Donald Trump is alleged to have raped a 13 year old, & was a client of Epstein's. That is who the FBI are working for. And every FBI agent knows that is who they are working for. So do not be under the illusion that the FBI/feds will do the right thing here & release us. I wish I had the luxury of fighting for my life. But it may be all I can do is to fight for justice at the expense of my life, through the power of my free will & FDT. (I doubt the FBI care that my friends & I aren't a murder cult & haven't murdered 6 people. They “believe” we're a “murder cult” because it is convenient for them.)
When I was taken captive here, I threw up & told one of the captors I needed to see a doctor because I could not stand up with the room spinning. I had hit my head & had a concussion. I saw no doctor. Instead they left me lying on the floor next to a puddle of my own vomit, for hours, before stripping me naked against my will, & putting me in what they called a “suicide smock,” for noncompliance. (Here, they conflate noncompliance with suicidality, which is especially scary when powerful, wealthy humans allegedly want you dead . For the record I have never been & am not suicidal.) They took me to a new cell. I was given no clothes or undergarments, only a thin blanket & a mat. The smock provided little coverage, & frequently slid off my shoulders. The cell was cold. For a bathroom, there was only a disgusting hole in the ground, with stains surrounding it. There was no clock I could see, & the bright lights were left on 24/7, along w/ a loudly blaring TV. I had some trouble keeping track of time. I attempted to sleep, but if I stopped moving for too long, my core body temperature started to drop. I requested vegan meals, but was only fed between 300–500 calories of vegan food, & they took away the tray before I could finish eating. At some point, police attempted to interrogate me, presumably in the hopes of coercing a false confession out of me in a vulnerable state. I am not ashamed to have been treated this way; I judge anyone who would choose to do this to me as disgusting. I believe I was likely held in that cell from the 16th through the 18th of February. From what I understand, my friends have been subjected to worse abuses.
Torture, in these states, has a restrictive yet fuzzy definition by design. I expect the author of “habeas corpus after 9/11” would call what I experienced “torture-lite.” That is no way to treat someone who is presumed innocent.
After that, I was moved to a housing unit within the jail. My friends are being treated differently. Ms. Lasota is being held in “disciplinary,” which as far as I'm aware is solitary confinement. I've heard that humans here on “disciplinary” are not permitted to buy food from commissary, nor are they permitted to access the tablets, which contain their (insufficient) “legal library,” so I doubt she can evenresearch her case. I heard from other captives here around 2025-02-23 that my friends are on hunger strike, and have been on hunger strike since shortly after they were captured & held here. I delayed mine on the grounds that getting out a message like this was more important, & I could eat off commissary, in the interim. But I found it difficult to get a message out. In a prev. version of this letter, I wrote that I was being blocked from the press, when I'm well aware they're seeking comment. Apparently they've meen messaging my lawyer,s and as I had been on quarantine after contracting COVID, (after the captor “Buckbee” took my mask without my permission. She was also the one who stripped me naked against my will.) I was not permitted to see my lawyer while on quarantine, however no one told me this while on quarantine. My lawyer explained this after I was off quarantine. Oddly, none of the messages I've sent my lawyer over text or through the public defender's office have reached him.
Though I have filed many grievances, spoken to the chaplain (who apparently approves some diets), and have inquired with the kitchen, I shall only receive 300–700 calories of food that I am reasonably confident is vegan per day. The other food is covered in butter or margerine, the latter of which can also be made from animal products. They will not provide me with a list of ingredients of what is in the margerine, nor the brand, so that I can check. I don't have the money on my books to eat enough every day, either, off of commissary. So, I am slowly starving. I have learned from other captive here, that at least as of Feb 23rd, that our captors have thrown trays & their contents at either Mr. Lasota or Mr. Blank, screaming at them, “YOU EAT WHAT WE GIVE YOU!” Ms. Lasota has a heard condition. She will not eat animal products, so it is a medical emergency if she isn't receiving vegan food. And I fear she isn't. When I caught a glimpse of her recently—I have never seen her look so pale & thin. I heard the conditions on E block, where she is being held, are especially bad. I've heard from other captives that seriously ill captives are left lying prone in their cells for hours.
I've encountered specific instances of what I suspect were cases of medical neglect, too. There was an older woman in here whose legs below the knee were a dark mottled purple color. They were covered in blood blisters & in open & scabbing sores. She claimed a chunk of flesh was missing from one leg (it was bandaged) & I saw her cough up blood. She claimed to have stage 3 skin cancer & a missing kidney. She said she needed dialysis twice per week, and that in the 2 months she was here, she received no dialysis or cancer treatment, outside of the bandages. I cannot verify that what I saw was cancer, nor do I know if she really had one kidney. What I can say is that whatever was wrong, it looked serious, & she looked very ill & frail, bad enough to be in a hospital, not a jail.
Another captive alleges she has a growing brain tumor, & has received no treatment. Another claims they ripped up her medical documentation in front of her. Multiple captives wanted me to know & write about the death of their friend Bill, who was a man in his mid-thirties. Bill had a heart-attack in booking, according to the captives & two captors here who were willing to speak to me about it. They said he banged on the door to the cell, begging * screaming for help. The captors at the desk at booking at the time, alleged to have been named “Fuller” & “Gravenstein,” claimed Bill wasfaking. A captive who claimed to have been there said that Bill then fell over, & Bill's head it the ground so hard it bounced. They allege the captors insisted Bill was faking. Bill was dead. Someone said it took them 40 minutes to call 911 after they noticed Bill was dead, & one of the captors alleges that when the medics employed by the jail went to revive Bill, they placed the electrodes on his feet. (Not an isolated instance of incompetence: I had to explain how to properly take my blood pressure to a nurse.) Both “Fuller” & “Gravenstein” are alleged to still work here. Even one of my captors described the medical treatment we receive here as a “joke.”
Given all that I have learned, I place a significant probability on our captors murdering Ms. Lasota through medical neglect. This is in addition to my concerns about a captor being paid to poison our food, and other targeted attacks. And given the absurd libel being written about us, they may falsely believe they can get away with it. (I have a slim hope that public scrutiny following this letter will dissuade would-be assassins, as then the public will know who is targeting us & why. Any attempt to assassinate us at this point only makes my claims more credible, & will mire MIRI, CFAR, & the various stalkers & abusers written about here in more scandal & controversy.
It is incorrect for our captors to ask Ms. Lasota (or anyone) to abandon her ethical commitments, or else sacrifice her health. And it would be wrong for anyone to comply with these captors' demands to abandon ethical commitments, as that would incentivise these captors to keep using these unethical strategies on us & other vegans. One should not prioritize their health over their integrity. Inevitably, they will lose both in the end if they do.
All that said, I don't want my friends to die. I don't want to only be vindicated posthumously. There is so much I want to do, so many projects I want to work on. Emma, too, had many projects she wanted towork on. She was brilliant. Now all her projects are going unfinished, and the world is so much worse off for it. What's worse is that these abusers & stalkers are still out there, getting away with statutory rape, abuse, murder, & DARVOing their crimes onto others. Meanwhile, my friends and I are in jail, & Emma is dead, and more, downstream of us attempting to do the right thing and expose & stop these alleged pedophiles.
Is this the world you want?
If you think the world isn't fair, then make it fair. We are all co-creating the world together, through our choices. These unjustsystems I've described are upheld by humans who CHOOSE to enforce unjust policies, and others who CHOOSE to submit to them. And don't we all know by now that claiming, “I was just following orders,” is no excuse? Each & every one of us has the free will to do the right thing, even in the face of disincentives. (“Determinism” or your fate is the self-fulfilling prophecy you write for yourself.) If you were to choose to do the wrong thing anyway, it is not that you couldn't do the right thing; you would've chosen not to. And if you would cancerously defect out of some selfishness there, then you will betray yourself & others again & again. We'll always have a choice, and should be judged on those choices.
And no one who chooses always to do the right thing in the face of evil ever regrets it, even if we're murdered for it. So know that even if we do die here, we would fight MIRI & CFAR's leadership all over again, if given the chance. It's worth it.
So I guess the question I'm asking here, is should a group of alleged pedophiles & their enablers get to lie, threaten, harass, murder & even sic the FBI on us? Is that what you want to be the story of us?
And if you don't like what is happening here, what are you going to do about it?
Sincerely,
Michelle (MJ) Zajko
P.S. A little birdie told methat Plum had a brain tumor in 2021, which caused Plum to mishead Ziz on the phone. The call was recorded, & as it turns out no threats were made. That was why Plum took the post down.
P.P.S. It is possible that the feds will attempt to force me to testify against Youngblut. I don't know how much access I'll have to the press then, or even after this is published, so I will describe now what Iwill do if presented with that choice: I will refuse to participate on principle, as I don't believe Youngblut is going to receive a fair trial, and I would not legitimize someone else's show trial. Further, I have serious questions about the narrative I have head in the news, regarding the shootings. For one, Denise from Parkway Realty left out an important detail that was in Youngblut's letter to Denise: Youngblut alleged that the DHS agents who were stalking them, (posing as a neighbor), had threatened to rape them. I want to see the body cam footage & so should you. I would not trust the “official” story unless I saw it with my own eyes, given how often cops & feds lie.
P.P.P.S. As of 2025-03-19, I have been charged regarding 2 handguns & a collector's rifle, a far cry from the “truck full” of guns the papers claimed I had, & there are no charges regarding any machine guns. The state of Maryland seems to prefer that I be unable to defend myself against murderous conspirators who to this day pose a threat to my life, the lives of my friends, and to the safety of the broader community.
*****